Emmett

God, I don't know if you remember the morning I found you...I get flashes sometimes, these stark memories that seem to bleach all thoughts from my mind. They scare me, funny huh?. I'm more frightened by my memories than I am by my future. Maybe, There is truth to the future being subjective like Alice is always saying. Where does that leave our past?.

You were hurt so bad. You were so broken,and I couldn't fix you. I wanted to...but I couldn't. I feel bad that I wasn't the one to turn you, to fix you...to save you. I wanted it to be me, but I chicken hawked. Did you ever forgive me for that?. You don't talk about it, you just kinda flubb it off, so I wonder.

I don't know why tonight is so hard, It's just any other night, but for some reason, my demons are knocking at my chamber door. I must let them in.

When you get back from hunting, I will be here. Hold me close, once again and don't ever let me go.

I love you.

Family

I've got the best <3

in the bell Jar

I know, I don't tell you often enough...I know I don't tell you I love you, nearly as much as I should. I guess,even after all these years I am so scared that I may still end up losing you. I hear the words you say to me, and I see the way you look at me but sometimes I wonder if perhaps you wished for another?.

Will I really be enough for all eternity?. I mean...

Will you leave in the end, choose another?.

I don't know why I feel this way. I'm sorry, I shouldn't doubt you.

I must be losing my mind.

very cute. I like this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtN9T5iqABo

must I always explain?.

People seem to have the wrong Idea of who I am. I'm beautiful, the most beautiful creature that human eyes will ever see...but do you believe it doesn't come at a price?. The change isn't a decision any of us had (Not even Bella in the end,as much as she would argue that) or were able to make on our own. Were I given the chance to go back in time, and remain human...to die a human, I would. If I could trade this beauty that brought such violence upon me, for a face that you would see and forget, I would.

Being beautiful isn't all bad. Maybe my beauty is the reason Emmett has stayed with me all these years. While we may never grow old together, we still grow together. He is my Monkey-Man, he completes me in a way, no other mortal or immortal ever could. He is the Sun and I am the moon. I often wonder if he'd rather I had not led him into my world. I feel bad for all the things I may have kept from him, but I'd feel worse if I had to have a Forever that didn't include him.

See?. Still selfish. Carlisle calls it something else, but that's a Dad's job isn't it?. Reassure your children everything will be okay?. Yeah...I got lucky the day my family came into being. I would not trade this lifetime for any other, I see that now, but some days...I forget how lucky I am.

Genesis

I remember the feeling of the cold pavement against my naked flesh. My torn dress was no shield against the chilling damp that seeped into my bones. I lay there for what seemed an eternity, waiting for death to take me. Wishing for a way out of my broken bleeding body. I remember the light in the distance as I slowly crawled towards it. "I must get home, father is waiting" I whispered aloud, even though there was no one to hear. Father. Would he want me now?. Would he still call me his "Perfect Rose"?. My limbs were twisted beneath me and the gravel dug into my palms, but still I crawled on.

I could hear Royce laughing as he staggered away, he kicked me one last time and snarled "No one will ever want a whore like you". Whore?. I...I was taken. I didn't give this willingly. He TOOK this from me, as he tore my dress from my shoulders, and when he threw me to the ground. The crescent shape of his finger nails, raised lines across my throat and neck where he had dug them in to choke my screams from me. I could still taste the rusty taste of blood from the teeth he had knocked from my mouth. Broken and bleeding, I welcomed death's release, but it did not come. I heard them button their trousers. I heard them laugh, so many voices laughing at me. So many voices calling out to Royce "Best find a new bride, looks like this one is all used up".

Even as I slipped into the abyss I was angry. Angry and cold until the terrible fire found me. Even the voice of the angel that saved me could not quench the terrible flames that ripped through me. Surely this was hell...surely this could be no other place. What had I done wrong?. Why?. The Angel apologized each time I screamed, and promised "Soon...soon, it will be over". But why?. Why must it end this way?. I was going to be a Bride, A Wife...a Mother. What about my house on the Hill, and High Tea served at noon?. What of my pretty dresses and ribbons for my hair?. Was there to be nothing more, than this?.

There was supposed to be more. Why?. I don't understand what I did wrong. Am I being punished?.

This is how I died. Broken, bleeding and lulled into oblivion by an Angel of mercy, with only one word on my lips. Why?.